Social Stigma
Destigmatization of Estrangement
Most people find it extremely helpful to speak with their spouses about their experiences, including support in an array of different places, though, including counselors, therapists, health care providers, support groups, and more. Some of the most helpful responses they received included the following:
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Actively listening
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Having someone validate their experiences and feelings
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Being believed about their trauma
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Not being pushed to forgive or reconcile with people they were estranged from
Together Estranged has found that talking about estrangement and connecting with those who have faced it is one of the best ways to de-stigmatize the experience. We have also conducted research on the prevalence and effects of estrangement to better understand those who go through it and shine a light on the topic.
Estrangement can be an especially isolating experience, and the stigma surrounding it can make those facing it feel extremely alone. The experience of losing intimacy or connection in our familial relationships can also take a great toll on our mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing. That is why Together Estranged is here to provide you with a supportive, understanding community.
During our research, we found that 60% of estranged respondents felt isolated and struggled with their mental health. We hope that, by amplifying their stories and providing a place to learn and talk about estrangement, we can lessen those feelings of isolation that so often come with it.
On our website, you will find sections where you can tell your story, read the stories of others who have faced many kinds of estrangement, read about mental health, and find helpful articles about a range of topics regarding estrangement.
Being An Ally
Those who are indirectly involved in someone's estrangement, like a person's friends, coworkers or other acquaintances, may never truly understand what goes on beyond the surface because they are not on the immediate receiving end of a strained or abusive family relationship.
In a 2020 article by Glue Ottowa titled "I'll be Home for Christmas: Breaking the Stigma around Family Estrangement", Dr. Megan Gilligan - a sociologist, gerontologist and professor at Iowa State University explained that sometimes estrangement is a better option for someone's wellbeing than being forced to conform to societal normal and remaining in a dysfunctional family system. She stated,
"We need to understand that families who have an estranged member are most likely families that need these boundaries between members. We need to know that sometimes this is what is best for some people and we need to honor and respect that."
When someone is estranged, they typically do not have a healthy, ongoing relationship with their family member. Communication may be very limited, knowledge about a person's day-to-day events may be very small, or family members may interact but have little genuine conversation with one another. For anyone going through this experience, it can feel very confusing, hurtful and messy. Those who decide to estrange themselves may feel isolated, depressed and experience low self-worth. For all sides, estrangement hurts.